


be rebellious with me

by orphan_account



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: First Kiss, Fluff, Kind of Canon Compliant, M/M, Oops, but there's also, he also loves eddie, richie is scared, uh this is sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-04
Updated: 2020-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:35:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23016361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Richie Tozier has decided to keep an exemplary record before graduation, so not to ruin his chances of running off to LA. But, this morning he decides he wants one last time to feel free.
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Kudos: 14





	be rebellious with me

**Author's Note:**

> this was originally going to be based off of ferris bueller's day off but i diverged from that plot A LOT, enjoy!

Richie Tozier had been on his very best behaviour. It was his senior year, and with graduation right around the corner, he refused to fuck it up and ruin his chances of running away to LA. So, despite Bev’s protests, Richie had attended nearly all of his classes - Gym did not count, Richie wanted to be a comedian, not an athlete - and kept an exemplary record of behaviour. Which shocked Richie, his parents and the school. However, on this particular May morning, when Richie woke up to the shrill of his alarm, he decided today was not going to be a day of good behaviour. With a groan, Richie slammed his hand down on his alarm and made zero effort to leave the comfort of his bed.

“Richard!” Came his mother’s voice around twenty minutes later, and then after no reply, Maggie’s tell tale heels were tapping up the stairs.

“Ma- I’m sick” Richie groaned dramatically as soon as his bedroom door opened. Maggie tutted under her breath, eyeing her over-dramatic son suspiciously.

“I haven’t been off in a month, I’m getting a fever Ma” Richie milked it, he knew his mother wouldn’t take much convincing.

“Fine - one day! But you’re in school tomorrow Richard, no arguments” Maggie had never had a strong will when it came to her son, and Richie knew this all too well. With his mom leaving shortly after, Richie jumped downstairs and dialed the only number he’d ever memorised.

“Rich?” Eddie whispered down the line, and Richie knew exactly how he looked. Hunched by his house phone, holding the receiver to his mouth as he shied away from his mother.

“Mr Spaghetti, I formally invite you to be a truant with me,” Richie’s English accent rang shrill, “no ifs, no buts, no arguments. I am calling my favour.” Richie knew Eddie was about to argue, could hear his sighing and huffing when suddenly he went silent. Richie and Eddie, exclusive from the rest of the Loser’s, had their favour system. Each year, the pair had one favour they could do for each other. It was either person’s choice to use it, Richie had used last year’s to convince Eddie to help him pierce his own ear. Eddie had used his to get Richie not to tell Bill Eddie preferred hanging out with his brother.

“I cannot believe you,” Eddie complained, “I’ll be at yours soon.” And then the line went dead and Richie was left with a smug grin decorating his face. Around twenty minutes later, Eddie let himself in Richie’s house and found the boy lazily watching the television, long legs spread and his abnormally large feet tapping impatiently. Turning at the noise, Richie jumped up and clapped his hands. “So Dr. K, today – we’re gonna be rebellious!” Richie spoke out, holding his hand to his smaller best friend. Stern eyes stayed on Richie’s own, but there was a soft sparkle behind the annoyed façade.

“You’ve made me truant from school – which if my mother figures out, I’ll be in the ER for a month – and now you have some wild plan to be ‘rebellious’?” Eddie finger quoted the word rebellious, much to Richie’s amusement.

“My piece of shit dad is on a business trip, which involved him flying across the country – which also means… wait for it Eds – he left his pride and joy behind,” Richie grinned, “and before you say ‘Richie, you’re right in front of me’, my father loves something a lot more than he loves his only son, his fucking car!” Eddie’s head started to shake as soon as he realised exactly what Richie was talking about. Wentworth’s car was his baby, and Richie resented this with every burning passion inside of him. How a man looks at a car with more pride than his own family was beyond Richie, and for once, Went had been stupid enough to leave the keys dangling on the key rack. This was temptation enough for Richie.

“Richie, if your dad finds out, you’re dead. With a capital D! No chance in graduating, college, any of it! You wanna risk that? Just for one stupid day! We could just hang out here, we always have fun anyway!” Richie could hear Eddie was trying to convince him, but he wasn’t going to be stirred this time.

“I’m driving that car to Portland whether you like it or not Eds, I used my favour to get you to skip, I can’t make you come with me,” Richie grabbed the keys and his beat up boots, “so you might as well leave.” There was a minute or two of silence as Richie laced up his shoes purposefully slow, he could almost hear Eddie’s brain ticking away with a pros and cons list.

“I hate you Richie Tozier” Eddie finally sighed, just as Richie stood up.

“Nah, you love me Eds.” Passing his drivers ed a few months earlier, Richie wasn’t an awful driver. He drove too fast and went around corners like a lunatic, but he got places in one piece. Music blared from the cassette player, Nirvana, not Eddie’s first choice but Richie sang along happily. “Welcome to Portland Eds” Richie grinned as they drove past the sign, Richie wasn’t sure the last time Eddie was this far out of Derry alone. Richie usually came out here with Bev, when the pair needed to run away together for a day. He hoped she wouldn’t mind Richie showing Eddie the ropes.

“I can’t believe you dragged me into this Tozier, we are so dead if anyone finds out” Eddie moaned, but Richie did not miss the slight excitement in his tone. Richie knew that despite appearances, Eddie was a secret rebel at heart. This was the same boy that had basically told his mother to fuck off when he was thirteen to fight a killer clown. The same boy, despite it being the fucking 90s, told his best friends that he liked boys, not knowing the outcome in any way. Richie only wished to be half as brave as his smaller friend.

_“And I told her Rich – I put her straight, said she needed to stop this bullshit or I was out” Eddie clapped his hands, thirteen year old Richie staring at his fiery little friend in complete awe._

_“Yowza Eds! You really did it? Told Mrs K to fuck off!” Richie jumped up, clasping his friend in a tight hug. It was the first time since they’d beaten that awful clown that Richie felt okay, that he wasn’t constantly looking over his own back for a red balloon, or for a faint whisper of his dirty little secrets, or for a missing poster that confirmed he was easily forgotten. With Eddie’s arms tight around his waist, Richie felt like everything was okay in that moment. Completely undisturbed by anything bad._

“Gotta live ya life Eds, never know when the last day is around the corner” Richie pulled the car into park, killing the engine and turning to Eddie who was watching him with a curious expression.

“Now c’mon my little Spaghetti, we have places to be” Richie jumped out of the car before Eddie could ask any questions, because that was the only thing Richie didn’t like about Eddie, how many fucking questions the boy asked – and how many of them hit Richie far too deeply. The pair first ended up at a small diner, Richie swore by the pancakes here, they were better than anything in Derry by a mile. The sickly but warming smell of syrup and butter hit Richie as he stepped over the threshold; the diner had such an old homely feel it set Richie alight.

“It’s cute in here” Eddie awed at the place, and Richie fondly watched the look decorating his face. Leading Eddie to his usual booth, Richie waved at the staff as they smiled at his arrival. Upon sitting down, Richie’s stomach growled just at the sight of the menu. Eddie giggled, a beautiful sound that made Richie’s toes curl and stomach flip.

“The calories on these items…” Eddie’s eyes bulged, “and I can’t even bring myself to care today.”

“Yowza Eds, do calm down sir,” Richie quipped in an English accent, amusement lifting the corners of his mouth, Eddie rolled his eyes and gave a light kick to Richie’s leg under the table, “Oh! I’m wounded! Go on without me my boy, tell your mom I – I…” Richie faltered off as he sunk in his seat, Eddie’s laugh becoming louder at Richie’s spectacle. That’s one thing Richie always noticed about his best friend, Eddie only laughed like this around Richie. When the others were present it was slightly stifled, like he felt like he had to hide it slightly, but around Richie it was completely uninhibited, free.

“Good morning,” Eddie quieted down as their server approached but Richie shot up with a grin, “no girl with you today?”.

“Miss Marsh has an important test, I dragged my dear friend Eds along with me today! He needs to try your absolutely splendid pancakes” Richie grinned, and the pair of the boys reeled off their orders. Watching Eddie, who had his head turned towards the streets of Portland. Eddie had grown into his face, but the youthfulness was still there. Where Richie’s bad features had seemingly grown with him, Eddie was just beautiful. A light dusting of freckles across a cute button nose, a soft jaw line and beautiful hazel hair that curled slightly when he didn’t get it cut too often. When Richie looked at Eddie, he saw every definition of beautiful.

“Bacon pancakes and maple butter waffles” Richie’s head whipped away from Eddie so fast he almost got whiplash, Rachel placing the two plates down in front of them. She returned with a coffee pot for Eddie. But it was the knowing, and soft, smile she gave Richie that he focused on. Was he that obvious to strangers? Does that mean he was obvious to Eddie?

“Oh – Rich these waffles!” Eddie made some questionable noises as he ate, Richie’s stomach doing somersaults as he tried to eat his own pancakes. Sure enough, Eddie’s fork came towards his plate and stole a bite of his food. That’s how it always went, and the other Losers had always had something to say about it.

_The new fast food restaurant had opened in town and the Losers had waited a couple of days to try it._

_“That looks good” Eddie had said as he picked at Richie’s fries. “Eddie, how come you never eat off of our plates?” Ben had asked, ever so innocently of course. Bill had spluttered into his milkshake, and Eddie cut him a look that Richie must have missed. “Because everyone else complains” Eddie was flushed with embarrassment._

_“Not one complaint about bacteria, or germs, when we all know in reality Richie is the most likely to be full to the brim with germs” Stan pointed out, Richie’s head flipping between his friends like he was at a tennis match. It was the first time he knew to keep his mouth very much shut._

“Good aren’t they? Now eat up, we got exploring to do. I wanna show you everything!” Richie shook himself out the memory, as he finished off his pancakes and took a quick sip of Eddie’s disgustingly strong coffee. How the boy drank it black with no sugars was beyond Richie, who needed a bucket load of sugar and creamer just to tolerate the bean juice. Richie left a healthy tip for the staff, calling goodbye as he pulled Eddie by the hand into the street. It wasn’t until they took a few more steps that Richie realised their hands were still firmly clasped together and neither boy had said anything, it sent a violent tingle down Richie’s spine but he dropped Eddie’s hand unceremoniously as he took a couple of his tall boy strides. He missed the curious, and slightly sad, expression on Eddie’s face because he was too busy remembering the direction of their next stop. It was only a twenty minute walk, when they found themselves outside of Richie’s favourite second hand shop, ‘Dick’s Inventories’.

“Of course” Eddie giggled at the name, Richie smirking down at his friend. The pair pushed open the door, the smell of dust tickling Richie’s nose hairs but it was so familiar he didn’t even mind. Immediately, the owner of the shop waved at the pair and allowed them to browse undisturbed. Eddie made his way towards the large arrays of nick nacks adorning shelves, whilst Richie headed towards the cassette tapes and vinyl collection. Flicking through, his eyes landed on a Queen tape, and he bit back a fond grin as the tape danced between his long fingers.

_They’d been sitting on Richie’s bedroom floor, one of the times he’d actually tidied it enough for Eddie to want to be there. His old cassette player was crooning away the first Queen album, Richie mumbling the lyrics under his breath as Eddie flipped through a comic book aimlessly. “_

_You know Freddie likes men?” the question rolled off of Eddie’s tongue stagnantly, and Richie moved to rest on his elbows and curiously look at his friend. Eddie was chewing his lip anxiously, like something was bothering him. Cocking his head, Richie responded, “_

_I heard on the television, Dad said ‘it was spreading’”. Richie watched on as Eddie froze slightly, his soft brown eyes flickering to where Freddie’s voice was still crooning from the speaker. There was something going on in his little friend’s head that Richie wanted to ease. He went to open his mouth but Eddie started talking, “_

_Do you think like that Rich? That it’s like a disease… that liking boys is bad?” Eddie asked timidly, and this time it was Richie’s turn to wiggle uncomfortably. He remembered It, for the first time in a year, and the taunting he hadn’t told his friends about. ‘What are you hiding Trashmouth?’. “_

_No, I think people should like who they like. If that’s boys, girls, whatever. Freddie Mercury still has a brilliant voice, so why should it be bad?” Richie aimed to sound nonchalant, like the entire question hadn’t caused a crisis within himself. Eddie’s eyes moved back to Richie, the worry disappearing and being replaced with that beautiful sparkle. “_

_Yeah – I think you’re right Rich,” Eddie nodded, “don’t tell anyone I said that.” And then they dissolved into laughter and the heavy questions were a thing of the past._

“What’cha got there?” Eddie was next to Richie, Richie held up the tape and Eddie looked at the tape fondly. Maybe the same memory was playing out behind Eddie’s eyes.

“Now, I found these cool clothes and I am really, really ready to dress like an idiot with you” Eddie threw a feather boa over Richie’s shoulders, donning a hat that was far too big for his head. Richie laughed, wishing he could stay in this little moment forever. Eddie, pouting dramatically and pulling Richie towards the costumes in the other corner of the shop and Richie, allowing himself to blindly follow his friend across the shop because Richie would follow Eddie anywhere he asked. Until the very day Richie couldn’t anymore.

The next stop, was a tattoo and piercing shop. Eddie glared at Richie as they looked at it across the street.

“No – nope, your ear was far enough! I won’t go in th-“

“I’m going in there with your approval or not Eddie, but it would be swell if you could hold my hand whilst I do something stupid and impulsive” Richie grinned, crossing the street. He heard mumbling behind him, Eddie was definitely throwing together a list of pros and cons about this. But Richie knew exactly what he wanted and he was going to get it done.

“I cannot believe you” Eddie hissed as they walked into the shop, the smell of cleaning supplies hitting their noses respectively. A bell jingled over the door and soon they were greeted by a tall, bearded man that had metal poking out of everywhere and tattoos adorning every inch of skin.

“I want a tattoo” Richie announced, and he was sure Eddie was going to fucking faint next to him.

_Richie had a needle and an apple laid out in front of him on his desk, Eddie pacing back and forth behind him as he listed off every symptom of blood poisoning. Clutching the ice cube to his ear, Richie wasn’t listening to a word Eddie said for once. He was simply watching his friend pace, his hand flying in every direction as he stressed. “I’m calling my favour” Richie announced and Eddie stopped dead. “No! Unfair Rich, that is so so unfair! I am not helping you mutilate yourself, you could die!” Eddie screeched but Richie knew it was decided, neither of them could go back once a favour was called._

“A tattoo? What do you want and wear?” The man asked, eyeing Richie up and down. Richie had been thinking about this for a while, ever since he’d wanted to stick ‘n poke himself but pussied out for once.

“I just one word, across the top of my knee” Richie explained and soon enough, Richie was sat in front of the guy with a tattoo gun in his hand. Eddie was silent for once, a pale look over his face. But his little hand was held in a death grip with Richie’s as the needle made contact, and the pain wasn’t as intense as Richie thought, and it was worth it.

“If your Ma sees this Rich” Eddie finally squeaked out around the fourth letter, eyes not leaving where the needle was inking Richie’s skin.

“You think Mags pays that close attention Eds?” Richie teased, but Eddie wasn’t laughing yet. Richie gritted his teeth slightly, the pain wasn’t unbearable, like a pinch that lasted too long. It was over before it even started, and Eddie shuffled to see the word now printed on Richie’s skin forever. ‘LOSER’ glared up at them and Richie watched as Eddie’s face melted from a frightened stare to the softest smile he’d seen on the boy in a while.

“Oh Rich – I love it!” Eddie clapped his hands together as the tattooist wrapped up the tattoo. Richie paid him, thanking him profusely for doing such a small tattoo and the pair walked out of the shop together.

“Why’d you get all the bravery?” Eddie asked as they walked further into Portland. Richie was taken aback by the question, since when was he brave?

“What’cha talking about Eds? I haven’t got an ounce of bravery in me” Richie almost tripped up over his feet as he turned to look at Eddie, who always walked in a confident stride because apparently it made up for his lack of height.

“You’re always brave! Getting tattoos, skipping school – you actually get to live your life Rich!” Eddie enthused, if only the smaller boy new the half of it. Richie was always scared, living his life hiding parts of himself.

_“Trashmouth is just a scared little boy,” IT sneered as it bared it’s yellowing fangs, so close Richie could almost smell it’s rotting breath, “beep beep they say, don’t let Richie tell everyone he’s ga-_

“Rich?” Eddie snapped Richie away from the chilling memory, Richie’s body covered in goosebumps despite the good weather. Trailing back to the conversation, Richie looked down at Eddie properly,

“I think you might be the bravest person I know Eds,” Richie shook his head as Eddie started to interject, “I mean it! I’ve always wanted to be just a little bit as brave as you.” This stopped Eddie’s protests, a curious look dancing across the youthful face. Richie had to look away, because if he could, he’d stare at Eddie all day. Sometimes, he caught himself doing it and had to shake himself out of it. Richie Tozier, who could barely pay attention to anything for more than thirty seconds, could look at Eddie as the sun rose and set behind him.

“We’re here” Richie said as they arrived at the docks. There was a lovely little food place that did the best sandwiches, and Richie’s ridiculously fast metabolism was shouting for him to eat again. They shared a sandwich between them, Eddie sitting down on a small bench and eating happily as boats travelled in and out.

“There’s a whole world out there Rich…” Eddie said quietly as he looked out past the docks. Richie knew what that statement meant, the reality behind what Eddie had just said.

_“UCLA! That- that’s incredible Rich” Eddie grinned as Richie waved his acceptance letter at this Losers. Eddie, who’d already been accepted into NYU, was the first to pull him into a hug. Richie was the last one to get his acceptance letter, everyone was heading in different directions. Stan was the closest to him, but that was still Stanford – five hours away. “_

_It’s like… Derry isn’t going to mean anything anymore” Bill said quietly as they all sat back down. Ever since college applications had gone out, Richie’s own head had been filled with the thoughts of what they’d all become. The Losers were family. “_

_There’s a big world outside of Derry, but we get to make it our won” Bev smiled at them all, ever positive. Richie was terrified._

“If you could go anywhere in the world, where would it be?” Richie asked, leaning back and kicking his long legs out in front of him. It was still early afternoon, and Richie didn’t want to be anywhere else right now than in the company of Eddie.

“I’ve always wanted to see Europe y’know? Imagine eating croissants in Paris, or tea in London!” Eddie looked genuinely excited, the intensity of the big wide world becoming more real in Richie’s stomach. It turned it in a way that Richie was worried his sandwich would come right back up on the pavement. Did Eddie know just how scared Richie was? How as much as he wanted to run away from Derry and never look back, he didn’t want to do it without him?

“I’ll have to take you one day – when we’re finished with college and I’ve finally become a famous comedian, I’ll whisk you across Europe and we’ll eat frankfurters from Germany too” Richie waggled his eyebrows and Eddie rolled his eyes, but couldn’t hide the smirk across his face.

“That’d be really nice Rich” there was no unease, not a shadow of doubt in Eddie’s voice that Richie would make that happen. Even if Richie’s own statement was just to try and pretend like they weren’t all going to lose each other in a matter of months, Eddie held onto the pretense Richie was definite.

“C’mon, let’s get back to the car. I gotta drive us somewhere” Richie stood up, holding out his hand for Eddie to take. Gladly, with a cute smile decorating soft pink lips, Eddie hopped up and took Richie’s hand as they walked back down the docks. Neither boy attempted to change their position as they retraced their steps. That was until they were about ten minutes away from the car and they passed a group of five boys, two of whom sneered at where their hands were joined. Dropping Eddie’s hand like it was suddenly hot coals, this time Richie didn’t miss the sad look that flashed across Eddie’s face momentarily. Eddie was out, and this was the reaction he got from people daily.

_Detention letting out, Richie strolled the empty halls of Derry High. It almost felt like an entirely different place when there wasn’t the eminent threat of getting punched in the face. It was quiet, almost nice, the only break from the silence was Richie’s Docs slapping against the linoleum flooring. “_

_Fag” Richie heard a voice shout, his head whipping around on instinct. It had come from the direction of the boys toilets. Richie was tempted to keep his head down, and just walk out as if he hadn’t heard a thing. But this was Richie, and that wasn’t something he did. So of course, striding into the toilets, Richie painted on his faux confidence._

_“Good evening gents” Richie said as four seniors looked in his direction, and that’s when Richie saw him. Cowering behind the four larger boys, eyes fiery but absolutely terrified, was Eddie._

_“_ _Spaghetti” Richie whispered, but it ricocheted around the confined toilets. Shaking his head, Eddie silently pleaded with his eyes for Richie to just run. Just turn away and run and leave Eddie. But that wasn’t what Richie would ever do._

Richie felt like a mask of the old him when he shook himself out of his memory and watched as Eddie moved on dejectedly. Richie used to kiss Eddie on the cheek, throw an arm around his shoulders, pull Eddie onto his lap whenever they were with the other losers. Hammock time was shared as equally as possible amongst the Losers in their clubhouse, but Richie and Eddie always shared without fail. Even when Richie hit 6’0. When had Richie become so scared of people finding out who he was that he neglected the very reason he knew? “Eds – wait up” Richie blew out a breath as he caught up with Eddie. Eddie, who was paying more attention to the bleak grey sidewalk than anything else around him. It was like the ground was the most interesting thing in the world to Eddie right now.

“Are you ashamed of me Richie?” The question hit Richie’s chest like an actual bullet, stopping him in tracks. Eddie still wouldn’t look up, but he was playing with his fingers like he usually did when he was nervous.

“Eddie – God, no,” Richie moved into Eddie’s space, making Eddie look up at him, “I think you’re just one of the coolest fucking people there is alive. God Eddie, I’d never in my life be ashamed of you!” I’m ashamed of myself, Richie thought to himself.

“It was just – you – nevermind” Eddie tried to get it out but shook his head.

“I’m sorry – I just… don’t want you to get hurt because of me” Richie half lied, Eddie nodding slowly.

“I think one day – it’ll be okay for me to do that with someone I love” Eddie sighed gently, the words collapsing Richie’s fragile heart. The image of Eddie, head held high, hand clasped with a man he loved, wrecked Richie. Richie wanted to be that guy, but he couldn’t even admit it himself.

“Richie – where’s your dads car?” Eddie pulled Richie away from his thoughts, Richie’s head snapping up towards the diner parking lot. It was, in fact, empty. Went’s car no where to be seen.

“Fuck!” Richie shouted, kicking an unsuspecting lamppost and groaning as he hurt his toes. Eddie tried to calm a stressed-out Richie, who was currently signing his owned death warrant. Went would kill him if Richie did not go home with that car in the most perfect of conditions.

“It’s probably just been towed Rich” Eddie tried to calm him as they entered the diner, Eddie hammering questions to the waitress as Richie almost tore his own hair out in stress. He’d just wanted one fucking day with Eddie, before they were swept up in final exams, graduation, spending a summer working and seeing the Losers. Then college, when they’d be an entire fucking country apart. One last day with his Eds.

“It’s at the tow company, we’ll have to walk there. It’s about half an hour” Eddie sighed, and Richie nodded as he wiped angrily at his face. They walked in silence for a while, Richie positively stalking off in front of Eddie. He could never do anything right, too scared, too stupid, too much of everything. Richie hated himself.

_“You’ll never amount to anything boy!” Went had shouted at fourteen year old Richie, who’d been suspended. Maggie sighed as she rubbed her wrinkled forehead._

_“_ _You could’ve just been a normal kid! Kept your head down, but no! You had to be like this!” Went continued, Richie sinking further into the lumpy couch. This hadn’t been the first time Went had said something like this, Richie had always had ‘talks’ like this._

_“_ _You’re a disappointment, upstairs now. I’m sick of the sight of you” Went viciously pointed up the stairs, and Richie almost tripped over his own feet at how quickly he headed towards them. He took one look at his mother, who just shook her head and directed her eyes elsewhere. Chewing his cheek to stop himself from crying, Richie flew upstairs and shut the door to his bedroom to block out anymore of his fathers words._

“Richie! Richie stop!” Eddie shouted, making Richie stop in his tracks and feel the hot tears that had travelled down his cheeks.

“What?” Richie shouted back, the pair staring at each other now.

“You know – you should’ve brought Bev with you!” Eddie shouted, his voice picking up pitch as he pointed at Richie.

“Maybe I fucking should have Eddie! Maybe I was stupid for thinking you’d want to spend some time with me before we get whisked away to different ends of the country and you completely forget about me!” Richie shouted back, “stupid fucking Richie, can never do anything right!” his hands flew in different directions, he knew he looked erratic right now, but he didn’t care. Every emotion was heightened in him, but really, he was a sad, scared boy. Terrified his friends wouldn’t even know who Richie Tozier was after they moved, scared that Eddie would fall in love with someone just as beautiful as he was, and Richie would mean nothing to him. That everyone he’d ever loved would just erase him from their memory. Just like that stupid fucking clown had told him.

“You know, I just wanted it to stay the same for a little while longer Eddie, so I didn’t have to face the fact that you were going away – so I didn’t have to acknowledge a fear a lot deeper than damn clowns!” Richie was silent, the quiet between them filled with so much tension Richie could feel the pressure of it in his chest.

“You’re scared of me forgetting about you?” Eddie asked, his voice less angry now. His face showed sadness, an expression Richie would literally take a beating to avoid seeing flash across his best friend’s face.

“Yes Eds, I’m terrified New York is gonna swipe you up and you take a second look back at me… I mean, why would you? It’s like my dad always said, what am I worth? I just wanted it to be the same for one more day…” Richie finally crumbled, allowing the fresh tears to roll down his face as he stared at the tarmac. He was so fucking scared that it clawed at his chest and threatened to rip his heart out.

“New York doesn’t have shit on Richie Tozier,” Eddie whispered, stepping into Richie’s space to wipe away salty tears, “you think I’d ever be able to forget you Richie? God I lo- I think the world of you.” Richie did not miss the stumble in Eddie’s words, and Richie’s head shot up to meet Eddie’s own watery eyes.

“Eddie, I – I gotta be brave for once, okay?” Richie asked quietly and Eddie nodded. Richie was going to look around, but he decided he didn’t care. Richie loved the boy in front of him, and no clown, no dad, no one was going to ever take that away from him. He bent down, a large hand cupping Eddie’s soft cheek. Pressing his chewed lips gently against Eddie’s soft ones, it felt like years of torture were shaking off his shoulders. Years of Richie telling himself he was abnormal, of shoving this part of himself so deep down he almost didn’t recognise it anymore. But Richie loved Eddie, that much he couldn’t deny anymore. “Rich – I’ll never, ever forget someone I love as much as I love you” Eddie spoke against his lips, like the words were meant for them only.

“I – I love you” it felt like gold to say, like Richie had no right to say it but he was going to anyway. He wanted everyone to hear that he loved Eddie, but for right now it was just for them, as it always would be. Went’s car was safe, and Richie managed to convince the guys at the yard to let him have it without questions. Richie linked his hand with Eddie’s the entire ride home, Richie didn’t ever want to let go of his hand ever again. He knew he’d have to eventually, but he didn’t want to.

Unfortunately, everyone forgets in the end. No matter how much you love someone. Everyone’s memory goes foggy and it isn’t until they’re in your arms again that you remember the first time your lips touched theirs. It isn’t until a shaky hand reaches up to touch your wet cheek and tell you everything is going to be okay that you remember the only person who’s ever lived in your heart. It wasn’t the forgetting that truly ever broke Richie, it was the love of his life dying in his arms the moment he remembered what love felt like again.

**Author's Note:**

> I AM sorry  
> its been a whole while since i wrote reddie but i missed them and had some inspiration!


End file.
